Seated on the floor, I'm surrounded by books and lecture notes, skirts and t-shirts and bags, ticket stubs and receipts, rolls of film and memories packed in old shoe boxes. Accompanied by a mug of strong coffee and songs I'll forget.
My attention span is wavering. I'm doing a bit of everything but accomplishing nothing in particular. If that makes any sense? Has that happened to you? It might just be me making up excuses for being lazy again.
In a week, I would be all packed and ready to embark on a whirlwind of events. I wouldn't call it travelling that much because it'll be a lot of meeting up with friends and ticking things off my to-do list. On the top of my list, is to daydream. And not mourn over the past, or over what-ifs, or the hardest part - goodbyes. But enjoy the moment and look forward to what's waiting for me on the other side.
It's like something inside me is saying, "We're nearly done with this bit. Let's move on to the next."
The last time I genuinely felt that was when I was in Rome, Italy. It was our last stop for our Italy trip. The best girly trip I've had so far. I love Italy. I can never get enough of it. There's a charm to its quiet streets and rowdy locals that make me smile. Yet, at the end of it all, I didn't feel much regret or sadness about leaving it. I knew I had a good time. I knew my limited time there served its purpose well. I still look back at it fondly, waiting for an opportunity to go back. But was I sad? No, not really.
I don't really know how to explain this. I just feel.. Satisfied. I've done what I needed to do here. Academically, I never achieved the best of results. But I've been through so much more and learnt so much about myself. The hard way, mostly. And I'm ready to take the next step forward.
Hard, it may be. But hey, when do good things ever come easy?
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