BDC

You know what? It's pretty horrible, being on a plane and feeling like I'm being torn away from something that is such a big part of me. Sigh.

Being away from home for most of the past five, six years, coming home meant different things at different times. Most of the time it was just a good holiday; I wanted to have fun; I wanted to go to the beach; I wanted to meet my friends.

Sometimes it meant having to deal with issues I wish I could just avoid. A family argument; a cold war between friends; a painful break up.

It also usually depends on what home meant, relative to my "current location" (wherever that was). In college, it was an escape from the cold, busy lifestyle of a city I never got used to. In university, it was a much needed reality check to remind me of the things that really mattered - keeping me grounded. Or else I'd be having the time of my life, forgetting myself and those that helped me get to where I am.

Over time, my reasons for coming home have evolved. Somehow.

There is a degree of freedom that comes with earning an income. I decide my holidays and I decide what I want to do with them. And I still choose to come home.

There was an amazing, indescribable calm that set in as soon as I touched down at home ground. To be surrounded by familiar faces, familiar places, there's this sense of peace and joy I can't quite describe :) it just felt like... Christmas. Haha. Yes, I don't have any other words for it.

It's a feeling of intense gratitude and relief, knowing that this is it - this is where I belong. Have you ever felt that before?

It's like being with someone you're totally comfortable with.

Your laughter rolls out at the simplest things, your smile is at home on a radiant face, your chatter is endless about everything under the sun, you're never self conscious about what you're wearing because "those that matter don't care and those that care don't matter", falling asleep is easy, soft light flows through the window panes in a room you've lovingly decorated as a teen and still love today, a cool morning breeze blows in as you hear the home slowly rise up and your parents are making breakfast downstairs, you can sit and watch your silly cat be lazy all day, you love the shops you've frequent for as long as you can remember, your friends' faces light up when they meet up with you, oh and the warm and abundant hugs you get for hello and goodbye and any reason in between, just because.

If I could choose what I want my heaven to be like, it'll be just that.

Yes, I'd like that very much, please.