Okay, that's it. A part of me definitely needs some help.

I can't even stitch together a simple video and it's been half baked for ages. Even the actual footage was sloppy and that seldom comes from me if I'm the one behind the camera :( It's very frustrating. It's one of those things that usually comes naturally to me. Not anymore.

I woke up early Saturday morning for that precious 'me' time. I had toast, coffee, music and my notebook. My usual set up. But instead of busy scribbling my heart out, I just ended up sitting on the floor of my apartment balcony with an open notebook with only two lines written and I couldn't squeeze out anything more. I just couldn't.

All these emotions in me were jammed shut inside. My usual mediums of expression - words, photos, videos, music, all were stuck. Just tears.

I looked out to the dawn skyline, breathed in the cool morning air, tried to dismiss the sound of early morning traffic, closed my eyes ... And felt so out of place.

For the first time in a long time, I couldn't write. All that came to me was an overwhelming emptiness. Trying not to let memories of better times keep me in the past.

I wish I could just stop everything and start over anew.

I also wish it was that easy.