When people ask me if I miss UK, I don't have much of a reaction.
My words are hesitant.

I do not miss having cold hands almost all the time.
I do not miss the studies-induced-depression.
I do not miss feeling so distant from the people I love back home.

However,

I do miss long, leisurely, uninterrupted walks in Autumn.
I do miss staring outside the window, sitting in Tinderbox all evening.
I do miss cosy mornings, having a warm brunch in Transeurope.
I do miss friendly conversations with total strangers.
I do miss all the writing I can get done every single time I'm at Peckhams.
I do miss my friends there.

Oh well, can't get it all.
I'm on a mission to make Kuching mine again.

Now, if only there were less construction and cars on the road...

Malta, Summer 2012

Coming home is always a humbling experience.

Especially now, that I'm going to start a new phase of my life.

Taking every experience I've soaked up, digesting them and creating something new.

It brings me back to what really matters.

To the people that really matter.

What I might have lost sight of while I was so comfortable elsewhere.

Rediscovery, reinvention, redefinition.

I get quite annoyed with myself when I'm doing my last shopping here and every clothing item that catches my eye are:

• For Autumn/Winter
• More art-school than future-engineer

All these nice jumpers and coats and fun t-shirts and short skirts with interesting prints or fabrics or textures. I keep having to tell myself to keep it simple and clean and smart... And then I end up in Topshop, trying out bright colored pants (totally loving it) and then realizing that I won't actually wear it back home because I'll stand out too much. And you don't want that when you're from a small town. 

Sigh. At least I save that money. 

when I get home ...

• have at least one meal with my parents every day
• cherish every single moment I finally get to spend with my boyfriend 
• spend every weekend at a beach 
• read those books I missed
• watch my cats and their lazy ways 
• catch up with the girls 
• meet Stacy and her baby girl
• shisha session with Esme 
• call whoever is in town, out for a drink 
• supper and lots of food and good company 
• to relearn the meaning of living simply 

Life has been a blur of events lately. 

Tonight, I will be spending the night on a friend's couch. Nothing that new, except that I have not been in one place for more than five days and it's been nearly a month of new surroundings and that five seconds in the morning between slumber and consciousness where I attempt to mentally psyche myself for the day ahead. Some days, better than others. 

From startled jumps on to sidewalks at the ring of gliding bicycles in Amsterdam. 

To lazy stretches while passing a bottle of wine, drunk from the bottle in Ghent. 

Then four solid days of music, pulsating all the way down to my toes in Werchter. 

Flights and trains and buses

And more, flights and trains and buses 

Tickets and queues and holding mummy's hand and looking around for dad. 

Hugs and kisses and conversations and tears. 

And I don't do very well when deprived from personal space.

Tick tick tock tock, the clock goes.