rediscover.

Big days lie ahead. I'm rediscovering so many things. 

My love for this small, intimate city of mine. Where family, friends and food are always the main attraction for us locals. 

Being well taken care of by my parents, despite their overprotective ways at times. Teaching me every day - how to live, how to love. 

The amazing, amusing friends I have. Time has passed and for some of us, it has been a decade of friendship. Few things spell comfort better than that. 

And the man I've been waiting for all my life, the one with certainty I will say - this is it. The one who will patiently take me to our favourite childhood ice-cream joint and remind me that no matter how hard things get, we will always have each other. 

A future ready to pursue. Led by God, to carry out what He wants, through me. 

Things I've never thought of would actually happen, have come true in ways I never would have imagined. The places I've been, the people I've met, the music I have heard, the food I have ate, the cafes I have sat in, the sunsets I've seen, the possessions I own, the city I've lived in, the friends I have made. 

I am blessed. 

Then sometimes - just sometimes - on a rainy evening my mind drifts to a place with cobbled streets, foreign words and hidden cafes. I smile, grateful to have experienced what I used to only dream of. What so many can only wish for. And with friends that can warm even the worst of winters. 

One day, with a trusted hand in mine, I will rediscover these places too :) Not anytime soon, maybe. But one day, I'm sure of it. 

My life is in a bit of a limbo lately. So this is how it feels like to be unemployed. 

Anyway. My mind drifts off to one cold winter and I'm in my living room, wrapped up in thick layers with a warm mug of coffee to warm my hands and I'm with two of my best friends and we're listening to this. 

I have trouble focusing my energy on one thing at a time. I start so many things and I want to do so much and then somewhere along the way, I get distracted and nothing is finished. It's what my boyfriend would say, "A very hippie way of doing things." It annoyed me at first but I realized... It does have some truth in it. I can't always do as I like, when I like and then act surprised when things don't work out. I don't always set limits or timelines for myself to do things and as a result, nothing really gets done cause I'm just doing things when I feel like it. 

It's obvious even when I blog. Haha. I always set out with one thing in mind and as I write, it somehow evolves into something totally different. And I leave it that way. I don't really have a reason for it. 

So... Hi. How are you? :) Would you sit down and just discuss random thoughts? 

My heart aches for the falling golden leaves, ever-so-slight chill in the air and the quiet contemplation that  comes with long walks in Autumn. In this tropical heat, to the eye there is no change but in my bones I feel the change of seasons and once again, I welcome it with a warm embrace only reserved for friends long expected and sorely missed.

When people ask me if I miss UK, I don't have much of a reaction.
My words are hesitant.

I do not miss having cold hands almost all the time.
I do not miss the studies-induced-depression.
I do not miss feeling so distant from the people I love back home.

However,

I do miss long, leisurely, uninterrupted walks in Autumn.
I do miss staring outside the window, sitting in Tinderbox all evening.
I do miss cosy mornings, having a warm brunch in Transeurope.
I do miss friendly conversations with total strangers.
I do miss all the writing I can get done every single time I'm at Peckhams.
I do miss my friends there.

Oh well, can't get it all.
I'm on a mission to make Kuching mine again.

Now, if only there were less construction and cars on the road...

Malta, Summer 2012

Coming home is always a humbling experience.

Especially now, that I'm going to start a new phase of my life.

Taking every experience I've soaked up, digesting them and creating something new.

It brings me back to what really matters.

To the people that really matter.

What I might have lost sight of while I was so comfortable elsewhere.

Rediscovery, reinvention, redefinition.